I Am The Intestinal Parasite
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007This comic is my attempt to use a small portion of the volume of useless knowledge I’ve attained during the course of my degrees.
In this case it happens to be something from my ever-so-not depressing class in Parasitology, where I learned the happy thought that pretty much everyone has a little unexpected visitor (and I’m not talking about your dead-beat relative or friend who is still sleeping on the couch watching COPS with three day old chip crumbs still on their shirt).
The unexpected visitor in this case is Mr. Ascaris Lumbricoides, or the wandering worm. Totally hot and not gross at all!
I will finish this post by telling my father’s world famous parasite joke.
Father Dearest: “So David my boy, lets say you have a tapeworm and you want to get rid of it.”
David: “OK father dearest!”
Father Dearest: “First you have a nice meal. You eat like a big steak, or hamburgers, with a big salad, some twice baked potato and so on. And for dessert, a delicious chocolate cake!”
David: “Mmm… chocolate cake.”
Father Dearest: “Shut up. Then you have a similar feast for every day of the week. Then one day, doesn’t matter which, you have the entire feast but leave out the chocolate cake. Then the tapeworm will crawl out and be like ‘Where’s the chocolate cake damnit?’ and you punch him in the face!”
David: “Oh father dearest, you’re so clever!”
Father Dearest: “Shut it you little kiss ass.”
That’s my story… I’m sorry it sucked.
THE END
May 8th, 2007 at 9:48 am
hmm… i don’t remember dad being quite so vulgar and swear-y. But then I am the good child, and you’re the evil middle one. go me.
May 8th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
hehe sounds like my dad. lol, great site man!! keep em comin!!
May 14th, 2007 at 6:07 am
I lured mine out by promising it a timeshare in Key West. Yes, my tapeworm really was a lesbian. Bet you didn’t learn that in parasitology class!
May 14th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
this one has been one of my favorites. keep up the good work!
May 16th, 2007 at 11:20 am
I *really* did not need to read that wikipedia article. So why the hell did I read it? And why am I so squeamish about something that almost a quarter of the world’s population has?
May 18th, 2007 at 6:27 am
that guy is positivly cute compared to Sir. Tapeworm (do a google image search) who of coure has great big pointy teeth (he’s much like bunnies in that respect… but not many others)
May 20th, 2007 at 8:23 am
They are all pretty much disgusting… just imagining that some of us may have one of these little fellas
*shiver*
It’s a comforting thought.
May 24th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
In the African country of Benin, a Peace Corps friend reported to me that it’s possible to have a tapeworm inside you that is up to 2 feet long. They end up being agonizing pain…and eventually pop their little head out of the skin somewhere. When that happens, you’re not supposed to “pull” it out ’cause it will break off. So instead, you wrap a stick around it…entice it out inch by inch…it cannot resist wrapping itself around the stick and over the course of 1-2 weeks, the entire thing will exit your body. This is why I could never do the Peace Corps.
May 29th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
personally, if I had a two foot tapeworm in me, I’d go get it surgically removed. I’m not one for “enticing” a tapeworm out of my skin. excuse me while i get the bile out of my mouth.
July 10th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
man, if i had some thing that big inside me, id summon it to do my bidding like Jackie Estacado from the darkness. Id have it fetch me dinner and destroy my enemies.